


The Miscellanies Adventures of PreDent

by TheGirlFellDownTheRabbitHole



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, M/M, basically two idiots who are married
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-03-09 15:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18919582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlFellDownTheRabbitHole/pseuds/TheGirlFellDownTheRabbitHole
Summary: Behold the happenings of being obsessed with HG2TG and coming up with random scenarios while wasting my time with work, internet and daily life.While the original HG2TG is set in the 1980's in this version its set in the early 2010's as I like the idea of the Vogon's destroying earth in 2012 and Arthur being slightly amused that the rumours of the end of the world were right.I always picture Ford to be someone who cleans their bag out once in a blue moon and constantly finds unique things that he didn't even know he had.How Ford got the iPod is along the lines of finding it left behind in the pub and taking it claiming that he holding to it for safe keeping despite having no intent of giving it back.





	1. Car Tunes and Apeman

**Author's Note:**

> Behold the happenings of being obsessed with HG2TG and coming up with random scenarios while wasting my time with work, internet and daily life.  
> While the original HG2TG is set in the 1980's in this version its set in the early 2010's as I like the idea of the Vogon's destroying earth in 2012 and Arthur being slightly amused that the rumours of the end of the world were right. 
> 
> I always picture Ford to be someone who cleans their bag out once in a blue moon and constantly finds unique things that he didn't even know he had.  
> How Ford got the iPod is along the lines of finding it left behind in the pub and taking it claiming that he holding to it for safe keeping despite having no intent of giving it back.

While the Heart of Gold was indeed remarkable Arthur felt it was missing something, well two things to be exact. The first was the lack of tea but that was a matter Arthur was slowly learning to except, if he ever did find tea he would personally put on a one-man show of the Book of Mormon. The other thing he missed was music or rather earth music as Zaphod's taste made him want to scratch his ears off in a bloody shred.  
Now and then Arthur would find himself humming and slowly realize that he'd never hear it properly again, no more Queen, no more David Bowie, no more...  
"Send me on my way" a voice sang out.  
Arthur's ears picked up the sound of Rusted Roots and followed the sound to find Ford jotting down in his notebook tapping his foot and singing the catchy tune, he had to admit Ford could sing.  
It should be mentioned that while on earth Ford was cast in a musical at the community theatre and while his voice soothed through the show it was also followed by the burning of young ears when he forgot the words and decided the odd swear would liven it up, it didn't.  
"I didn't know you liked Rusted Roots," said Arthur Ford looked up at Arthur with a confused look before taking out one of the headphones.  
"What was that Arthur?" He asked.  
Arthur glared at the dangling earbud and then back to Ford.  
"Since when do you have an iPod?"  
"So that's what it called" replied Ford pulling out the iPod nano from his blazer pocket, "I've been calling it an apple"  
"Technically you're not wrong"  
"I found it in my satchel after I cleaned it out. I think someone left it in the pub so I took for safekeeping although I don't think the original owner going to wanting it back" Arthur shook his head at Fords comment  
"Can I have a look at it?" Asked Arthur sitting down beside Ford  
"Go for it" answered Ford tossing it to Arthur.  
Arthur scrolled through the iPod spotting artists such as Earth, Fire & Wind, Meatloaf, The Beatles.  
"Found a song you like?" Asked Ford whose answer yes from Arthur was in the form of squeezing himself closer to Ford and putting in the hanging earbud deciding on Under Pressure. Ford looked at Arthur with slight concern before shrugging and returned to his notes tapping his foot to the Queen song currently playing in his ear.  
"I'm guessing you like this song ?" Arthur asked.  
"What makes you guess that?"  
"You always tap your foot"  
Ford turned and smirked at Arthur.  
"you should make a playlist and call it Car Tunes"  
Ford placed a hand over his chest in a fake hurt gesture and Arthur had an idea soon after.

 

Later on, when Ford was scrolling through the iPod trying to find where the games have he noticed something that caught his eye, there was a playlist entitled 'Car tunes'  
Ford looked through it seeing certain songs like 'Star Man' and 'Life on Mars'  
"Very funny Arthur" he muttered smiling.  
"I should probably return the favour"

When it was Arthur's turn with the iPod he planned to listen to Proud Mary but was instead greeted to the playlist entitled 'Apeman'.  
"Really Ford!" He yelled earning him a laugh from down the corridor.

What consisted for the next few weeks were Ford and Arthur bursting into song randomly resulting with an annoyed Zaphod threatening to ditch them on the nearest planet if they didn't cram it, Trillian would join in sometimes increasing Zaphod's eye twitching.  
It soon got to a point where singing wasn't enough what soon followed was dancing provided by Ford and occasionally Arthur if he pestered him long enough.  
'As the world falls down" had made it's way in and on queue, both Ford and Arthur turned to each other with recognition in their eyes.  
"Bringing back theatre memories?" Asked Arthur  
"Like how I had to get you drunk before you agreed to be my practice dance partner"  
"How much alcohol did you give me till I agreed?  
"Quite a bit"  
"Either way I was slightly relieved when you didn't get the part"  
"I wasn't that bad at dancing, I'll show you if you want"  
Ford held his hand out to Arthur who rolled his eyes smirking before taking it.  
One pair of hands clasped together while the other decided whether to place itself on the shoulder or waist.  
"Hang on I'm leading," declared Ford shaking off Arthur hand from his waist.  
"Ford I'm taller than you it makes more sense" argued Arthur.  
"I'm stronger than you"  
Arthur hauled Ford flush against him causing Ford to stumble with his words and blush slightly.  
"I'll believe it when I see it" replied Arthur  
"Fine" was all Ford responded with allowing Arthur's hand to rest on his waist and soon the two gents were dancing, twirling and swaying as they went on.  
"You dance wonderfully darling," said Ford playful  
"As do you dearest" replied Arthur as he spun Ford.

Looking from down the hallway Trillian leaned on the wall and smiled at the dancing pair.  
"You two idiots love each other " she muttered.


	2. Nightmare Fuel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After drinking the equivalent of liquid nightmare Ford suffers three nights of terror. Luckily Arthur is there to help whether he's useful or not.

Nightmare fuel

At a bar on Icago a bar in which any drink you can think of is available, the crew of the heart of gold took the bar's slogan of 'any drink you think' as a welcome sign and a challenge and now were sat in the bar.  
"Run it by me again Ford is it down, cheers, drink?" asked Arthur.  
"Kind of. It's cheers, down the table, cheers, drink," replied Ford.  
Arthur's face was still painted with confusion but that could have been because of drinking five great Gatsby as they were a favourite of his on earth.  
"Here" Ford took his glass and motioned Arthur to do the same, "cheers" the glasses clinked together, "down the table" The glasses slammed the table " cheers" another clink of glasses "drink" both men downed their drinks.  
"I still don't see why you do that every time before you take a drink," asked Arthur.  
"It's some weird ritual of the planet, didn't you read the guide passage?"  
"I skimmed it,"  
"Hopefully that won't backfire on you someday" Ford turned to grab new glasses from the hover tray and placed them on the table.  
"What you have this time?  
"Probably the same, you?  
"Yep"  
Within seconds the glasses were topped with a Gatsby in one and a blaster in the other.

"Ford, what happens if you do the wrong cheers?"  
"Well each cheer means a different thing, there's one that means bar fight, one for going on a bender and there's one meaning you want to sleep with someone,"  
Do you know any of them?  
"I think I know the sleep one,"  
The men both repeated the ritual but unlike Arthur who succeeded to down his drink, Ford had splashed his in his face due to Zaphod mouth "oh kinky" at his sleep cheers comment.  
Arthur notice Fords drenched face and began to laugh.  
"How d'you manage that?"  
Ford rolled his eyes and shook off the remains of his drink.  
"Hang on I've got a drink to nick,"

Ford got up to make his way to Zaphod's table but was stopped when Arthur grabbed his blazer.  
"No don't nick his drink, last time you did we all got locked out of the ship and had to huddle for warmth in a cave,"  
"In my defense, I didn't think it would lead to him hacky sacking the keys away, besides Trillian has them this time so we're good,"  
"If not you're not allowed to huddle with me tonight," said Arthur pointing a finger at him and letting go of his blazer.

"Whatever" and with that Ford made his way to one of many Zaphod’s unattended drinks. Ford eyed the various drinks before deciding on a dark navy one and quickly did the ritual with himself downing the navy drink and the other on for good measure.  
"You didn't just drink that did you?" asked Zaphod  
"Hey you owed me that drink and if you don't believe me, you can smell it in my hair,"  
"Dude you just downed a somnum exterreri"  
Fords cheeky smirk turned into a look of concern.  
"Why would you order that? Questioned Ford in a panicked tone.  
"I want to see if I could outbrave the drink," Zaphod puffed his chest out in pride.  
"Zaphod you freak out if you see a ball of fuzz on the ground I wouldn't hold out much hope," replied Ford.  
"I'll be braver than you for the next few days," said Zaphod enjoying Ford’s so to be distress.  
"Oh god, what's he done now?” called over Trillian noticing the lads were looking like they would make a scene.  
"Just downed a shot of somnum exterreri”  
“Damn it guys,” Trillian placed her hand on her face in response to the beetleguice’s stupidity.  
“What's somnum exterreri,” asked Arthur making his way over after seeing Trillian signal of lord give me strength towards Zaphod and Ford.  
Trillian signed, reached into Arthur’s robe pocket fishing out the guide and slamming it into his hands  
“Check the guide,” she said deadpan and went to find someone to cheers with so she could down her rhubarb gin and tonic.

_According to the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy the somnum exterrerior in translation nightmare fuel is a drink that originated as a potion used in the dark ages to spike the enemies’ drink with making them unsuitable for battle due to horrific hallucinations and allowing the others to tease and dismantle them winning the battle._   
_Nowadays it is popular for drinking games or pranks and thankfully has been watered down so now all the consumer will suffer is about three nights of night terrors, anxiety and if worse comes to worst a slow but painless death._

Arthur looked at Ford with concern.  
"You going to be okay?"  
"I'll be fine, three nights of hell is nothing I can't handle," Ford said downing more of Zaphod’s drinks for good measure.

Night one

After everyone had got back to the ship despite all being in a drunken stupor Ford decided to get a head start and sleep off the hangover he'd be sure to get.  
"Goodnight everyone,"  
"Night night sweetheart sleep well" Trillian replied sarcastically pulling out a small bottle of Baileys from her pocket and hiding it for later.  
"You're calm for someone with nightmare fuel in their system," said Zaphod more fixated on the baileys hiding spot.  
"I'll be fine," said Ford  
Ford stumbled to his room throwing his satchel to the side, kicking off his shoes, shrugging off his blazer and face planted the bed wrapping the duvet around him and falling fast asleep in a flash.

A few hours later as Arthur was asleep in a chair slumped up with his cheek against the wall he was interrupted from his delightful dream by Ford's bad dream.  
"NO, I NEVER MEANT TO AHHHHHHHH!"  
Arthur took a second to get the numb feeling out his face before stumbling out the chair wrapping his robe around him and make his way to Fords room.  
Arthur knocked on the door before realising that it was essentially unless and walked in rushing to the bed and shaking Ford by the shoulder.  
"Ford, Ford wake up,"  
Ford woke up in a flash shocked to see Arthur but buried himself into his human companion. Arthur gazed down at Ford taken back the sudden psychical contact but noticing Ford's shaking form he wrapped his arms around him and softly began stroking his hair.  
"It's okay I'm here" he muttered to Ford as he clung to him closer.

As Arthur watched Ford curled up against him in a shaking mess Arthur saw himself from months ago when he woke up in a mess homesick, he remembered vividly sitting on the bed sobbing with his knees under his chin and Ford coming in to see him in such a state.  
"It's okay I'm here" Ford had said hugging him.

A few moments later Ford had finally calmed himself pulling away and wiping his face of stray tears, looking at Arthur's robe he could see where his face had been and buried his face in his hands in embarrassment.  
"Bloody hell I’m so sorry Arthur,"  
"It's all right,"  
Both sat in silence for a minute before Arthur placed a hand on Fords knee.  
"Do you want me to stay or?  
"I'll be fine Arthur it's fine" replied Ford patting his hand.  
"All right well you know where I am if you need me,"  
"Thanks, Arthur" Ford crawled under the covers like a cat reacting to water.  
"Sweet dreams" Arthur called over the opened door.  
"Not likely,"  
Arthur stood confused by Fords reply before it finally hit him and earned himself a slap on the forehead.

Night two

"AHHHH!"  
"Not it" muttered Zaphod.  
"I've got it" Arthur slugged his way to Fords room and using the same technique as last time of shaking Ford awake. Ford again woke up in a start and huddled into Arthur as Arthur awkwardly patted his hair and muttered: "it's okay I'm here".  
After some time went by Ford pulled away to notice that he was hidden under one flap of Arthur's robe.  
"When did this happen? Have you turned into Arthur tent?"  
"That was bad,"  
"Give me credit I'm suffering from nightmare fuel,"  
"Fair enough" Arthur lightly nudged his with his knee, "you want to talk about it"  
Ford winced a little looking down.  
"I can't remember what the nightmares about, I know it scares the hell out of me but that's about it"  
"No problem Ford," Arthur said plainly.  
Ford felt the room beginning to fill with awkwardness and nudged Arthur's leg with his own.  
"Arthur, what was that song from the chocolate musical?"  
"Willy Wonka,"  
"Yeah, you remember the popular song?  
"Pure imagination?  
"No, the one the old man sings,"  
"I've got a golden ticket,"  
“I've got the first part of the song in my head but I can't remember the rest,”  
About an hour had passed as Ford and Arthur went over the lyrics of golden ticket slowly getting there but then ended up getting sidetracked with memories like when Ford was a supporting actor in a production of Willy Wonka and fell off the stage or the memory of Arthur having his childhood ruined when he sang karaoke at a bar one night and suddenly realised how dirty the lyrics to Candyman were.  
“and with and with a golden ticket, it's a golden day”  
he hummed it again to make sure.  
“Ford I think I got it it’s….”  
Arthur noticed that Ford was curled up around a pillow fast asleep looking as peaceful as he could ever be, well until the nightmare fuel kicked in again but that wouldn’t be till tomorrow night.  
Arthur gently patted Ford's arm and slowly shuffled off the bed making his way to his own.  
Just one more night and it's over he thought thankful that Ford’s nightmare would end and both could enjoy the calm cozy nest of sleep.

Night three

Ford cautiously climbed into bed after losing a battle of pulling an all-nighter due to the heaviness of his eyelids growing each time he tried to avoid sleeping.  
Ford reached for his towel and pillow hoping they would build a decent fort to protect from the night terrors but knew it was a no brainer it wouldn’t work.  
“Just one more night,” he huffed.  
Suddenly he felt the bed drip slightly and gripped the towel tightly in case his terror was to come but thankfully he found it was Arthur.  
“Arthur, what are you doing in my bed? Did the improbability drive switch up the whereabouts of your room again?”  
“Ford instead of you screaming out blue murder for five minutes and me running to your rescue I think it would be better if I was right there to prod you awake and then we can fall back to bed quicker,”  
“Okay?” questioned Ford  
“It's not like we haven’t shared a bed before like when we had to stay over in your flat because of the snowstorm,” Arthur reminded him.  
“Or that time the hotel rooms got mucked up,”  
“Or the many times when you snuck in my bed when we came home drunk,”  
Ford smirked at the memory.  
“You had a big comfy bed,”  
“You’re quite warm to sleep near,”  
“We Betelgeuse are warm-blooded creatures,”  
“It's like sleeping next to a radiator,”  
It didn’t take long for both men to fall asleep due to being a bit sleep deprived but it didn’t take long for Ford’s nightmare to take its toll.  
“NO, I CAN FIX IT!!!”  
Arthur eyes shot open and quickly stuck out his leg to kick Ford awake with after two attempts finally worked.  
“Thanks, Arthur” Ford breathed rapidly.  
It took a few moments for Ford to calm his breathing wrapping his towel around his in what he would refer to as his calm cocoon.  
“Arthur,”  
“Yes Ford,”  
“You’re rather close not that I mind it but you spooning me,”  
“That would be because you're using my robe as a safety blanket,”  
Ford loosed what was not his towel but was, in fact, Arthurs robe flap once his eyes adjusted to the dark of the room.  
“Would you like it back?”  
“Would you like to give it back?”  
Ford answered by wrapping the robe flap tight around him and nuzzling into it.  
“Would you mind being my Arthur Tent for the rest of tonight?”  
“Fine,”  
Both men shuffled and turned finally getting comfy and breathed out.  
“Just for tonight,” they said in unison.

The next night

Ford had essentially informed the gang that he would hibernate for the next 72 hours to make up for the lost time to enjoy his usual dreams of cruising, boozing and that one guilty pleasure dream of starring in the play Chicago performing the cell block tango.  
“It's nice to see him be Ford again,” said Trillian noticing that Ford skipped in delight to his bed.  
“Yeah, now we're back to just one nervous wreck,” chimed in Zaphod gazing in Arthur's direction.  
"I could do it you know, he could accidentally run into my knife" muttered Marvin to Arthur who at this point was seriously considering it but settled for his classic two-finger cheek scratch.  
"AHHHHH!!!"  
The scream brought everyone to a silent standstill as they all turned to the hallway to where Ford's room was located.  
"maybe it's a happy scream," said Zaphod trying to lighten the mood.  
Moments later Ford rushed out of room bumping into the wall and landed on the ground wiping his hands on the floor frantically and shaking his head as if there was something stuck in his ginger locks.  
"Ford" Trillian called causing Ford to stop.  
"Ford? Are you okay?" Trillian crawled over to him lightly brushing his hair and getting him to look up. Ford was drenched in a cold sweat with tear streaks down his face and his pupils were as dilated as a full moon.  
"That can't be good " Zaphod muttered as he lightly bit his knuckles.  
Arthur walked over to Ford careful not to startle him and placed his robe flap over him, Ford curled into a ball of trembling nerves breathing in and out in a shaken manner.  
"This really can't be good,"

To be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold what my mind comes up with while doing mindless tasks at work.  
> I have been meaning to post this for a while but due to laziness and the magic of the internet I decide to make this adventure a two parter, DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN.  
> Enjoy


	3. Nightfuel Fuel part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still being haunted by the effects of Nightmare fuel the heart of gold sets off to find the magic healing flower to hopeful put an end to the mental torment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold the long awaited part 2 that wanted to be out so badly that it leaked out of my mind at 2:42 at night and I had to catch it in a glass and type it up.  
> I've never written a two part before and honestly finally wrote this so I could back to the lazy one part one shot adventures.  
> Enjoy
> 
> p.s brownie points if you get the Ariel reference- the hint is David Dixon :)

Arthur looked over to Ford who was now swaying back and forth on a console chair sleep-deprived and painted in anxiety. Ford was huddled around the iPod now and again singing to himself. ‘He doesn’t look right’ thought Arthur as he witnessed Ford grow weaker in front of his eyes. It wasn’t until later when he expressed his concern (making sure it was when Ford unconscious) to the others. “I'm worried about Ford if this carries on the guide might have predicated right about the last part,”

“He’s just experiencing some night terrors everyone has them now and then,”

“Zaphod come on we’ve never seen him like this before, he's scared of going to sleep and he becoming deprived,” commented Trillian pointing her arm at Ford.

“Like how?”

“Moods swings,” said Arthur 

“That’s true I've never seen anyone get irritated about the depths of blazer pockets,” replied Zaphod

“Inability to concentrate,” said Trillian

“It took him a while to remember the password for the private bathroom,”

“Irritability,” said Arthur 

“Again the blazer meltdown,”

“Fatigue,”said Trillian

“I haven’t notice that yet,”

“Yes, but it wasn’t you he woke up last night to discuss the meaning of the song memory and then sob for five minutes about cats,” Arthur pointed out

“Well, that could have been avoided if you sleep in your bed,”

Arthur himself felt irritable, but it wasn’t sleep deprive that was causing it, Arthur had moved into Ford’s room making sure he could wake him up before the nightmares got too much and essentially to be a distraction to keep Ford looking on the bright side, it was getting hard to look on the bright side after a fortnight of nervous wreck point 2 (Zaphod’s new nickname for Ford).

 

“I think I might have a solution,” said Zaphod as he went to the console and typed in a number and address into the video chat system. It rang for a bit before the screen lit up and on it was a mid-aged two-headed woman one head of blonde hair and the other a brunette and a pair of small red reading glasses perched on her nose.

“Hi Zaphod a long time since you’ve rung,” she greeted

“Hi, mom,”

“So what it's this time?” mom’s eyes lit up from an idea,“Are you and Trillian finally getting engaged?”

The hair on Zaphod head stuck up in shock

“What? No not there yet but you never know” replied Zaphod sneaking a little wink at Trillian who rolled her eyes and waved him off blushing slightly.

“Mom, do you remember when uncle Ouston had night terrors?”

“Yeah, why d'you ask?”

“Well…”

At literally perfect timing a loud screak traveled down from Ford’s room soon followed by a yelp of pain. Ford emerged from his room rubbing his arm and turned to Marvin who was waddling behind him

“Look when I said wake me up at any sign of nightmares I meant gently not being tasered,” he snarled at the android

“My apologies I wanted to make sure to do a good job,”

“Ford darling that's wrong?” Ford peered up at the video chat and was surprised to see his mother

“Nothing just feeling a little zapped” he said giving Marvin an evil glare from the corner of his eye.

“Ford drank somnum exterreri,”

Mom looked unamused “what did you do that for?”

“I drank it accidentally” replied Ford making his way to the console like a guilty child but not before accidentally on purpose elbow Zaphod in the ribs knowing Zaphod would do nothing in front of Mom.

“Anyway what did uncle Ouston do to cure his night terrors?” asked Zaphod

“I don’t think he ever got round to anything, in particular, I mean he looked up this flower in this place but in time it just healed itself”

“How long did it take?” asked Ford

“About a year or so,”

“What about the place he found out?” asked Arthur

“Oh it was this little planet called Cessabit or something,”

“Arthur check the guide” Trillian whispered to him tossing the guide to him.

As Arthur looked up the plant Cessabit Ford and Zaphod chatted to their mom about what they were doing career-wise, their relationships and life goals by writing fiction with their mouths (a fancy way of lying) Arthur had found the article about Cessabit and the flower for healing.

**_According to the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy the planet Cessabit is a small empty populated planet in the western galaxy, many believe that the reason the planet has little to no population is due to the white-winged spirit haunting it and the healing white flower known as Alirara, in order to guard the flower the planet will give its hosts a sense of security but producing the most peaceful and nostalgic atmosphere before pulling it away leaving the hosts confused and vulnerable causing more of a challenge to retrieve the flower, not many have been able to succeed grabbing the flower and either return home with trust issues or lie on the fields of the planet and act as dinner for the white wing spirit._ **

Unfortunately because of sleep deprive and just want to find a solution for Ford Arthur had read the article as...

 ** _According to the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy the planet Cessabit is a small empty populated planet in the western galaxy where the healing white flower known as Alirara is, in order to guard the flower the planet will give its hosts a sense of security but producing the most peaceful and nostalgic atmosphere before pulling it away and allowing the host to retrieve the flower'_**.

“Found anything Apeman,” said Zaphod once he had hung up the chat.

"I believe I have, it’s the planet Cessabit where the flower is,”

“No s**t I meant have you found the coordinates,”

"Umm…”

“Never mind,” Zaphod turned back to the console “computer, head a course for Cessabit,”

The console lit up green once the coordinates were found and with a big fast zoom shot off to the location causing a bit of a stumble among the crew mostly with Ford crashing into Zaphod. “Don’t worry Cous you will be healed” announced Zaphod hooking his arms around Ford and placed him over his shoulder like a little foxy scarf ready to walk off to the destination

“Zaphod we’re not there yet,”

“Oh in that case” Zaphod lower Ford of his shoulder and dropped him on the ground getting a groan of discomfort and a muttered swear from Ford. “Get some snooze before we land buddy you’re going to need it,” Zaphod patted his leg and shimmied over to the bar. Arthur went over to help Ford up.

“Here let's get you up,” he said as he dragged Ford up to the point of sitting up.

“Thanks Arthur I...” Ford closed his eyes for a slip second and fell fast asleep, Arthur rolled his eyes but decided that Ford might be on to something and sat down behind him back to back allowing Ford’s head to lean back onto his shoulder and vice vera, it wasn’t long before Arthur drifted off. Trillian looked to the two sleeping men and gave a soft smile, it was rare that she’d see them this peaceful since the nightmare fuel.

Zapp Zapp.

Trillian turned to noticed Marvin producing little sparks and making his way over to Ford.

“Marvin NO!!”

“I'm just trying to help" replied Marvin before lowering his hand and sulked off down the corridor.

 

Finally arriving at Cessabit Zaphod prepared to land and honked the horn startling both Arthur and Ford awake. The heart of gold landed smoothly, and the gang made their way out. Ford shuffled out holding on to Arthur's arm.

"So where's the threat?" questioned Zaphod

"What threat?” replied Arthur

Zaphod raised both sets of eyebrows.

"A planet that has a magic healing plant but doesn't have any defensives seems a bit sketchy to me and this is coming from someone who loves to steal things without trouble"

"The guide said the island gives a sense of security and then offers the flower so it's fine I read the passage.

"Read it or skimmed it?" asked Ford learning from experiences 

"Hey look booze" Zaphod spotted a golden brown waterfall and ran to it excited when he released the fall was made up of whiskey

“Well that's him happy he'll sleep tonight” Trillian shook her head and went to follow Zaphod to make sure that he wouldn’t end up tripping and drown in the whiskey fall. “you two enjoy yourself”

As this was going on Ford looked around curiously before a glowing long grassy field cause his eye reminding him of the fields of his childhood home and the wonders that hid in them prompting him to release off of Arthurs arm and sounder into the fields to see for himself 

“Ford” Arthur soon noticed the lack of heat on his arm from Ford and went off to search for him, 

‘I wonder if my ideal will show itself anytime soon ’ he thought as he walked through a field that opened up with roses and lavender but no sooner as he thought did he spot before his eyes a little glass garden table decorated with a red tartan tablecloth and sat upon it was a plate of biscuits and a blue tea-pot. TEA.

Arthur walked over and gently poured out the tea into a cup praying it was real and not something that was like tea but completely not like tea at the same time. Thankfully it was tea and Arthur sat happily looking down at this little cup of hot liquid feeling the warmth of the cup travel through the palms of his hands.

Behind him, he heard grass shuffling and turned to see Ford crouched in the grass resembling a lion waiting to prance on its prey.

“Ford, what are you doing?”

“Wait for it” whispered Ford

It was a quick second before Ford leaped out and landed in the long grass setting a chain reaction of little light bugs flying into the air, Ford's eyes lit up with bewilderment and glee.

Arthur himself was entranced and watched as the bugs circled, some even went in the way to Trillian who had ditched Zaphod’s whiskey fall to enjoy an old childhood hobby of hers of making flower chains.

“Zaphod and I used to do this all the time when we were kids,” said Ford as a little fly bumped into his nose before flying off again 

“Care to join in Arthur?”

“I’m good, I’ve got some catching up to do,” replied Arthur with an almost lustful glance at the cup of tea in his hands

“Oh liten up old man,” said Ford as he suddenly leaped at Arthur catching him by surprising and dragging him down into the grassy heap.

Arthur looked at his empty hands then to his split tea and then to Ford annoyingly as Ford giggled at him.

“Shocking that’s what you are,” said Arthur as he playfully shoved Ford before getting up.

“Killjoy” Ford called at him before getting ready to jump deck more fireflies when out of nowhere

POUNCE 

 Ford got a taste of his own medicine as Arthur had tackled him to the ground, ford opened his eyes to see Arthur pinning him

“How’s that for a killjoy?”

Ford raised an eyebrow in playfulness before gathering his strength to push Arthur off. Both lads looked at each other before laughing.

“God, we must look like a bunch of hooligans,”

Ford leaned in to give a reply but soon noticed that their noses were brushed against each other causing him to pull back blushing back slightly.

“I never noticed how beautiful nature could be,” said Arthur looking to the heavens which were populated by multiple fireflies.

Ford lay down beside him and took in the view, it was the most relaxed he had felt in a long time.

 

It wasn’t long for the calmness to be disturbed as a white bird-like being swooped down and grabbed at firefly flying off with it up high and blocking the golden rays of the sun with its wings. Suddenly the grass became dry and shriveled and the flies dropped dead, the flower crowns Trillian was wearing grew grey and thorny causing her to throw them off quickly as possibly pricking herself in the process and poor Zaphod had the taste of whiskey replaced with what he considered being the foulest liquid he’d ever taste.

“Ew, water” Zaphod spat it out into the lake. 

Arthur looked in panic at the garden table as it crumbled into dust; he sprinted over and grabbed the teapot taking off the lid to see the remaining tea.

“I’m willing to drink directly from the teapot,” he yelled to the sky

The tea swirled upwards out the teapot and into the air and all that was left was a lonely little tea bag.

“Am I desprite enough to eat a tea bag?” Arthur questioned himself 

By the time his decision was made the tea bag exploded into fine grey-brown dust.

“DAMN,”

 

It didn’t take long for everyone to gather around each other.

“You’ve come to steal my precious flower have you?” questioned the white being

“What do you think?” replied Zaphod

Trillian walked over and tugged Arthur's robe.

“Arthur I thought you said this place was safe, just steal the flower and head off situation,”.

“That’s what it said in the guide,”

 

 

“Did you read it or did you skim it?” asked Ford annoyed

“I hate you,” answered Arthur translating to ‘I skimmed it’.

“Well if you want the flower come get it,” said the being before hissing and flying off to the top of the cliff where the flower grew, “good luck”

“Any plans?” asked Zaphod

“Nope,”

“Nope,”

“What about you Ford?” Arthur turned to where Ford had vanished “Ford?”

Trillian noticed Ford going to climb the cliff and grabbed the back of his blazer pulling him back

“No offense but you and sleep deprive is not a good match for whatever that bird thing is,”

“Look despite being a nervous sleepy wreck, I think I can handle Ariel up there,”

“Ariel?” Zaphod asked confused by this nickname

“Earth thing” replied Ford

*Back on earth Ford had auditioned for a local theatre performance of the tempest to keep up his out of work actor and had managed to earn the role of Ceres despite trying his best to botch the audition, he had a small fling with the actor playing Ariel and failed to deny it when he went to Arthur’s house covered in white smears of body paint. *

“So the plan?” asked Zaphod

“What if we split up and distract him, you, Trillian and Arthur each take turns distracting him and I’ll go up the cliff and grab the flower and once I have it we make a runner”

“Good I’m in,” said Zaphod as distracting was one of his main qualities

“What if Ariel comes after you,” asked Arthur concerned

“If that happens I’ll just kick him in the nuts,”

“Fair enough” replied Arthur and soon split off from the group

 

“Hey birdy look what I have” tainted Zaphod waving his silver tinted scarf grabbing Ariel’s attention.

Ariel's eyes lit up with curiosity and he swooped down to get a closer look.

“You want it? Come and get it” Zaphod tossed the scarf up and down till Ariel flew over and grabbed it landing to untangle it and get a closer look

“That was easy” Zaphod’s second head commented, and both heads turned to wink at the other

Zaphod turned back to Ariel but was surprised to see he was gone

“Maybe he went to place it in his nest or something,”

No sooner Zaphod was smacked back by a white blur and whacked one of his heads off a tree knocking it out.

“Come on wake up you handsome moron,” he nudged the head.

As this went on Zaphod failed to pick up that Ariel had tried him around the tree using the scarf and both his heads on either side connecting them by his head.

“You’re a dick” yelled Zaphod at Ariel once he realised his situation earning him a snide glance from Ariel before he spread his wings and took off.

 

Ariel hovered in the air before catching sight of Ford’s journey towards the flower ‘oh no you don’t’ he thought and was to make his way to stop him before he felt something hit him on the back of his wing.

“Ow,” he peered down to see Trillian with an arm full of rock.

“That wasn’t very nice,” he commented

“Well you tied up my boyfriend and now you’re trying to hurt my friends,”

Ariel flew down and landed near her looking her up and down as Trillian stared back with a rock in hand at the ready.

“I must say your boyfriend is one lucky being,” said Ariel holding a hand out to Trillian

Trillian looked to the hand and then to Ford whom more than halfway up the mountain and decided to play along with Ariel’s little game taking his hand and twirling around with him.

“I must say you’re quite charming,” she mentioned causing Ariel's wings to puff up in admiring

“Well if you say,”

Trillian noticed the surrounding behind her and saw a cave hole that Ariel was trying to dance her into, Trillian closed her eyes and twirled before placing her leg behind her and tripped him up.

“Oh so sorry,”

“It's quite alright we all have a little fall” replied Ariel before getting ready to push Trillian into the hole but luckily she moved in the nick of time causing Ariel to fall forward into the hole.

“That should keep him busy,” she thought. 

Trillian soon felt a little sting before big thorns snaked around her and held her to the ground; Ariel arose from the hole looking disappointed at her.

“I expected differently darling but I suppose that every rose has its thorns”

“Oh stop with your poetic cheesy crap once I get out of this I will rip your fluffy little feathers out”

“You might have to wait awhile,” said Ariel grabbing Trillian and dumping her into the hole “that should keep you busy”

 

Ariel set off to fly to Ford by this time his ears were scratched by a high pitch whistle that was produced by Arthur, Ariel glanced down at him and hissed.

‘Now what?’ thought Arthur as he realised he didn’t have a Plan B of how to keep Ariel distracted, what would ford do?

“You want me beast here I stand” Arthur yelled out as he stood open arms, that seemed like a Ford thing to do

“All right,” said Ariel as he shot down to him

“S**t”, this is why he shouldn’t use what would Ford do as a plan he thought as Ariel picked him up and hauled him high to the sky.

“Let me guess are you scared of heights?” asked Ariel

“Oddly enough no,”

“Falling to your death?”

“Not if I throw myself at the ground and miss,”

Ariel pondered for a moment before concluding and produced a river below with harsh currents and jiggered rocked, Arthur peered down and looked back up in fear feeling the uncomfortable shiver of fear flow through himself.

“So it's water that you fear,”

“No” lied Arthur

“Sorry I meant drowning,”

Ariel flew up higher and readied himself to drop Arthur until the tumble of rocks broke his murder Arthur trance, and he turned around to see Ford holding onto the cliff climbing up to the flower.

“Idiot” muttered Ariel flying over to the cliff but not before dropping Arthur in the river, luckily Arthur had managed to snag onto a rock.

 

Ford crawled his way to the flower looking back at the loose edge of the cliff that he nearly slipped and fell with.

“Must remember to avoid that bit when I leave” Ford reminded himself and went to grab the flower.

“I think not buddy” Ariel's voice called from above before diving into Ford knocking him out the way.

Ford slid a bit before shaking off the dust in his hair and peering at Ariel

“Oh come on buddy why you’re so protective? I'm not going to steal the flower, just a petal and then I'll be off,”

“And I’d believe that because…?”

“You have to trust me I need to cure myself from somnum exterreri”

Ariel strolled over and looked Ford up and down eyeing every weak spot he could find.

“I believe it’s more than nightmare fuel with you,”

“What do you mean?” Ford snapped in defense

 “You’re just a repressed sad little Betelgeuse,”

“Pardon?”

“It's not just the effects of somnum exterreri its repression of loss,”

Ford thought of his home planet and earth

“Repression of anger,”

Ford thought of his father’s death and how he never learned how to pronounce his name

“Repression of fears,”

Ford thought of how he’d probably die after his friends, all alone like he’s been many times before

“Repression of regrets,”

Ford thought of how he never told Arthur he loves him

“And very soon repression of grief” Ariel motioned to his friends as Zaphod was sinking into the tree, Trillian was being buried alive as the hole started to close up and Arthur was soon to be clawed away by the current.

“Wait” Ford called out.

Ariel glanced to him as Ford walked over to him till he was face to face.

“If you're what I think you are, I know what needs to be done,”

With that said Ford wrapped his arms around Ariel and hugged him close causing Ariel to tremble in confusion and unfortunate for him that tremble would cause the demise of the heart of gold crew to be delayed.

Trillian felt the surrounding thorns grow weak and broke them apart and quickly climb out of the hole before it enclosed completely and made her way to fish Arthur out of the river and finally untie Zaphod allowing him to burst out of the tree with no scratched but a few barks scraps in his hair.

“Let's go find Ford,” said Trillian, and all three took off making their way up the cliff

 

“What do you think you're doing?” asked Ariel horrified

“You’re an amalgamation of all my fear and repression, all you need to know is that I wouldn’t fight you, I accept you for what you are,” it all made sense to Ford as he looked lovingly into Ariels eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Ariel puffed out his wings pushing Ford to the ground

“I thought that's what it was, you know the whole you not being evil and just needing to be loved and accepted and whatnot,”

“You think that’s what this is? I’m not some imaginary friend, I’m nothing like you with your weird eyes and stupid fashion sense,”

Ford looked confused and hurt for a second before getting it together and going with should have been his original plan.

“Sorry mate” Ford kicked Ariel in the nuts and pushed him off the edge of the cliff, Ford glanced down to see a still white blob far below.

Ford went over to the flower and plucked a petal off popping it in his mouth and swallowed it with a disgusted reaction to follow.

“For something pretty looking the taste is far from it,” he muttered to himself

“Ford” Ford looked up to where he heard his name being called out and saw Arthur, Trillian and Zaphod stood across the ledge from him.

“Hey guys”

“Where’s Ariel?” asked Trillian

“He’s fine he's currently hanging down the bottom of the cliff,”

“Think he'll be coming back?” asked Zaphod

“Probably let's go before he flies back up and kills us,”

Ford ran over to the gang but stopped as he had the feeling he had forgotten something.

“Are we missing something?” Ford questioned

“Did you remember the flower?,” asked Zaphod

Ford walked back to grab one but then the taste in his mouth reminded him he didn’t have to taste the petal again, so he walked back over to his friends

“No, I'm good,”

THUMP, CRUMBLE, Ford remembered he forgot about the crumpled ledge and as a result fell with it.

“FORD!” Arthur yelled looking down to see where Ford had landed and ran down to him.

 

The gang slid down to find Ford down on his side, pebbles and rumble covered him, he looked peaceful but too peaceful for everyone's liking.

“Ford?” Arthur leaned down and shook him awake, no response

“Ford buddy?” Zaphod and Trillian joined Arthur and tried to awaken Ford but still no response.

Arthur bowed his head feeling tears as he was slowly starting to accept Ford’s peaceful state and pressed his forehead again Ford’s head before getting ready to head off.

“Where’s my Arthur tent going?” said Ford weakly as he slowly opened his eyes.

“Ford” Arthur ran over and pulled Ford in for a hug, it took Ford a minute to grasp what was happening but relaxed into the hug and it wasn’t long till the others joined in.

“It's okay I'm here,” muttered Ford into Arthurs's shoulder 

“I’m here,” said Arthur pulling Ford tighter into him before letting go and helping Ford up.

The gang headed back to the ship with Zaphod leading the way and Arthur and Trillian hauling Ford up and carried him back.

 

Later that night back in his room Ford stumbled to his room throwing his satchel to the side, kicking off his shoes, shrugging off his blazer and face planted the bed wrapping the duvet around him with a warm feeling inside telling him that the petal had worked and he could retire to his pleasant sometimes erotic dreams.

Ford felt himself sink into sleep but awoke when he felt the bed drip slightly, he turned around to find it was Arthur.

“Hey,”

“Hey,”

“Arthur?”

“Yeah,”

“I think you're in the wrong bed,”

“Oh,”

Ford shuffled closer and wrapped Arthur robe flap around him

“Just for tonight, I need my Arthur tent tonight,” 

“And I need my human radiator,”

“Betelgeuse” Ford corrected 

“Whatever” replied Arthur before both he and Ford drifted off to sleep.

 

The End 

 


End file.
